Corporations have used Enneagram personality typing for many years in their human resources departments, as it can assist councilors to guide employees on their careers and placements. Mental healthcare is another field where Enneagram gets used to assist clients and patients.
An increasingly popular sphere of life where the Enneagram system has become the ultimate go-to “tool” is relationships. People eagerly want to know what their partner’s type is and how compatible they are. Knowing this helps people understand each other better and what potential issues they should watch out for.
In the following article, we’ll specifically focus on the relationship between Enneagram Type Nine and another Type Nine. We’ll go over the positives of this double-pairing, as well as what problems these personalities bring to the relationship. Let’s begin.
Type 9 Compatibility With Type 9
Attachment styles, EnneaDyads, growth and stress, and dominant wings are some influencing elements of Enneagram Type 9 compatibility with Type 9.
A dissertation from Walden university shows how, using the data from 324 couples, men and women match and choose the personalities of their partners differently.
The rating of 92% will probably find Enneagram Type 9 compatibility with Type 9 has great potential, but it would be important to include all the information.
Success in EnneaDyads might show up for only Allied and Integrative categories, or in the following order:
- Woman is 9 and man is 8/man is 9 and woman is 1
- Woman is 9 and man is 3/man is 9 and woman is 6
- Woman is 9 and man is 6/man is 9 and woman is 3
- Woman and man are both 9
- Woman is 9 and man is 1/man is 9 and woman is 8
- Either the man or woman is 9 and their partner is 2,4,5,7
Anxiety and Avoidance in Attachment Styles
When both partners in a relationship have secure attachment styles, the relationship is most likely to succeed. Or, a couple could ‘earn’ secure attachments if they jointly encounter personal development or stress. For mismatched (one secure and one insecure) attachment styles, success is not far behind. The dyadic effect usually takes a role in couples who have insecure attachments.
Nines with a dominant Eight wing, or Enneagram 9w8 exhibit high anxiety and high avoidance, which is an insecure attachment style. However, if Nines have a dominant wing in One, they are considered as securely attached.
Wings, Growth and Stress
Since the dominant wings of Nines are Eights and Ones, it might positively affect Enneagram Type 9 compatibility with Type 9 if at least one individual has a dominant One wing.
During growth or stress, individuals may take on personality types of their integration or disintegration lines, and this could also alter the match potential.
What Each Type Brings to the Relationship
The unique blend of characteristics that each Nine brings may slightly adjust Enneagram Type 9 compatibility with Type 9.
Enneagram Type 9: The Peacemaker
No matter what the influencing dynamics may be, the character fingerprint of Nines is that they are reputedly placid. Nines rarely have strong opinions, or if they do, they’ll be unlikely to expose them. Their impartiality, and organizational skills, are what make them such excellent mediators of negotiators.
Nines usually put their focus on people rather than on trappings or achievements. They often ignore their needs in favor of supporting those of others. Nines truly care about the welfare of the general population and of those they love. And they welcome the opinions, beliefs, and traditions of others.
Nines may feel that they don’t have enough value to keep others interested, and they may fear being rejected if they raise any objections. Also, they hope for a balanced existence, and it rattles their cage when changes get thrust upon them.
Enneagram Wing Contribution
The influence of the wings on Nines will see their personality adjusting to a small or large degree. This is another area where Enneagram Type 9 compatibility with Type 9 could be affected.
Enneagram Type 9w8 and Type 9w1
Nines with a dominant Eight wing, or Enneagram 9w8, will probably be more confident and confrontational. However, the tractability of Nines will still take the lead. So they would still be great with mediating solutions but, although they’d probably keep it to themselves, perhaps they won’t feel as unbiased in their viewpoint.
Eight’s attachment style: insecure
An Enneagram 9w1, where One is the dominant wing of Nine, will most likely display a higher level of criticism and may judge the moral values of others and themselves. Again, their dominant type will take precedence.
One’s attachment style: secure
Positives of This Pairing
Nines tend to offer their partners their unmitigated support, and they love without reserve.
The magnanimous Nine would readily forgive any infractions their partner makes. However, these probably won’t occur very often, since Nines know what causes their own emotional discomfort. For this reason, they will both likely consider the needs of their partner before themselves and behave accordingly.
Also, because neither has strong opinions, conflicts and arguments probably won’t often touch their relationship, and the Nine partners would therefore feel fulfilled.
As organized and detail-oriented as they are, double Nines are unlikely to compete for supremacy, either professionally or personally.
Although Double-Nines are not supposed to be in a complicated relationship, a few problems could arise.
Their forbearing characters could find them overlooking the wrongdoings of their partners. However, this does not mean they do not feel the associated hurts. They merely bury them for the sake of the relationship. And since difficulties so seldom occur, Nines might feel overwhelmed when they do.
Instead of dealing with these issues and hurts, double Nines might either withdraw into a semi-melancholic state or, as their anguish festers and burns, Nines could turn contemptuous, however subtly.
Since Nines may procrastinate in decision-making, they probably prefer to leave the dictatorial duties to others. But it’s possible that neither, in a double Nine relationship, will take the initiative to lead.
Peace reigns over the double-Nine relationship. This couple radiates reliability, understanding, caring, and support.
Still, it will be important for both Nines to discuss their issues. They should learn to understand that no matter how uncomfortable this might make them, conflicts will not end their relationship. Because in fact, Nines seem to thrive on being understood and heard. They simply struggle to assert their beliefs.
This couple can benefit by working with Enneagram in their personal growth, as they will learn that it is okay to have an opinion and to discuss matters. And, if they use their mediating skills in their relationship, they will likely crush any problems that develop.
To discover your Enneagram type, complete the Enneagram Personality Test.