It may be unclear as to the precise origins of the Enneagram system, however, in modern days, Enneagram personality typing has assisted many individuals, corporations, and mental health care professionals. In relationships, Enneagram might help couples improve their methods of communication, for example, or at least to better understand their partner.
Today, we’ll talk about a unique pairing that scores quite high on the compatibility scale – Enneagram Type Eight with another Type Eight. We’ll go over the reasons why this couple is so healthy and what should both partners watch out for. Let’s begin.
Type 8 Compatibility With Type 8
Various factors may alter the overall compatibility between two Eights, such as their wings, integration or disintegration states, attachment styles, and whether EnneaDyads may be relevant.
The data analysis of 324 couples in this Walden university dissertation, explains that men and women choose, and are compatible with, different personality types.
Irrespective of external considerations, core Eights show Enneagram Type 8 compatibility with Type 8 as 84%.
The impact of EnneaDyads mostly applies to couples with insecurely attached partners. It’s possible that only Allied and Integrative categories may have any relevance, otherwise, success could be achieved in the following order.
- Woman is 8 and man is 7/man is 8 and woman is 9
- Woman is 8 and man is 2/man is 8 and woman is 5
- Woman is 8 and man is 5/man is 8 and woman is 2
- Woman and man are both 8
- Woman is 8 and man is 9/man is 8 and woman is 7
- Either the man or woman is 8 and their partner is 1,3,4,6
Anxiety and Avoidance in Attachment Styles
When partners both have securely attached Enneagram types, their relationship has the highest chance of success. However, couples can ‘earn’ secure attachments when they experience growth or stress together. Mismatched (one secure and one insecure) attachment types also show a relatively high success rate.
Wings, Growth and Stress
The wings of Eight, Seven and Nine, both have insecure attachments. The dyadic effect would therefore come into play in Enneagram Type 8 compatibility with Type 8.
When in periods of personal growth and stress, Eights will adjust in character to that of their integration or disintegration type.
What Each Type Brings to the Relationship
Although double Eights will share many traits, other factors can affect their relationship.
Enneagram Type 8: The Challenger
Protective of their people, generous, beneficent to the world at large, driven to succeed, and confident in themselves, are but a few characteristics common to Eights.
These types face conflicts in the same way as decision-making—with precise logic. They’re unlikely to procrastinate and will probably take charge of people and situations. Without considering whether a matter is already under control, they will take the reins—even if this means aggressively bullying them out of another person’s hands. They may also shoot down other opinions in the process.
Despite this, Eights are charming, engaging, and enjoy the novelties of life. Independent in nature, they probably won’t conform to the expectations of others. It’s not as if they plan to take control, this is something inherent to them. And they tend to insert themselves into every aspect of their—and their people’s—lives.
Enneagram Wing Contribution
Even if double Eights share dominant wings, the extent to which these influence each partner may vary.
Enneagram Type 8w7 and Type 8w9
An Eight with a dominant Seven wing will very likely be less confrontational, controlling, or aggressive. They would probably be more curious about new experiences, and less driven, generous, or concerned with the well-being of others.
Seven’s attachment style: insecure
If Nine is the dominant wing of Eights, they may feel more at peace and calmer within themselves. They would still be generous and concerned for the plights of others, but they will probably be more accepting of the opinions and beliefs of others.
Nine’s attachment style: insecure
Positives of This Pairing
If both partners have referred to the Enneagram system to identify their Enneagram types, double Eights will likely recognize the weaknesses and strengths of their partner. Since both will have the same elemental ache of feeling meaningless and inferior, they will probably support and encourage each other through their pain.
If double Eights are healthy, they may be willing to leave some tasks to their partner—once they’ve established who is more capable with each specific assignment. In this way, they could both alleviate some of their self-determined responsibilities.
As a decidedly communicative pair, double Eights will very likely engage in lengthy discussions and debates. Perhaps recognizing themselves in each other will give them less of a need to dominate and more of a desire to share.
Also, since Eights are unequivocally generous, double Eights will likely spoil each other with gifts, fun outings, and holidays.
Any downsides in this relationship lie in the combative natures of the Eight.
Eights may be inclined to engage in trying to outmaneuver their same-Enneagram-type partner, especially when it comes to taking charge of an issue within their home. And if one takes the lead, the other could aggressively challenge their decision. This is because neither will want to relinquish control to the other.
They could land up aggressively, albeit verbally, and try to overpower their Eight partner. And in this case, they could become condescending, or blaming, and bringing up the flaws of the other. In arguments, Eights tend to hit the head on the nail in their criticism. Neither will succumb to guilt as some other Enneagram types could.
Lastly, Eights should understand that many of these problems could arise due to their self-sufficient natures. Good communication and learning how to appreciate the value of the other person in this relationship is the key to solving their issues.
Double Eights under a single roof can be a blessing or a curse. Enneagram Eights raise their concerns readily and are on point when they do. In conflict, two Eights could seem extreme in their challenging and aggressive behavior.
However, as long as the argument doesn’t leave them feeling vulnerable or betrayed, they’re unlikely to bear grudges. When the argument is over, they’ll probably go back to their regular activities without a backward thought.
To discover your Enneagram type, complete the Enneagram Personality Test.