For many years, companies and mental healthcare professionals have used the Enneagram system to establish the personality traits of willing participants. The results may assist in career choice and departmental placement or they may aid a stressed individual to gain a better understanding of their circumstances or their relationships with others.
The discussion of whether a specific personality type may match well with another may not be as simple as it first seems. Enneagram personality typing is one of the better personality models for outlining possible relationship matches.
Speaking of relationships, today, we’ll explicitly focus on Enneagram Type 6 and Type 9. This article uncovers the value of this romantic pairing, including those things that make their relationship great and their potential issues.
Type 6 Compatibility With Type 9
Various conditions may impact Enneagram Type 6 compatibility with Type 9. These include the dominant wings of the individual Sixes and Nines, their state of growth or stress, their attachment styles, and EnneaDyads.
A Walden university dissertation—from the results of 324 participating couples—established that men and women show compatibility differently with specific personality types. They also choose their partners differently.
The Enneagram Type 6 compatibility with Type 9 score, at 62%, appears to be one of the better matches.
Only Allied and Integrative categories of EnneaDyads may influence relationship success. Alternatively, fulfillment within romantic partnerships can be found in the following order
- Woman is 6 and man is 5/Man is 6 and woman is 7
- Woman is 9 and man is 8/Man is 9 and woman is 1
- Woman is 6 and man is 9/Man is 6 and woman is 3
- Woman is 9 and man is 3/Man is 9 and woman is 6
- Woman is 6 and man is 3/Man is 6 and woman is 9
- Woman is 9 and man is 6/Man is 9 and woman is 3
- Woman and man are both 6
- Woman and man are both 9
- Woman is 6 and man is 7/Man is 6 and woman is 5
- Woman is 9 and man is 1/Man is 9 and woman is 8
- Either the man or woman is 6 and their partner is 1, 2, 4, or 8
- Either the man or woman is 9 and their partner is 2, 4, 5, or 7
Anxiety and Avoidance in Attachment Styles
When both individuals within a partnership have secure attachment styles, their relationship will show a higher likelihood of triumph. However, couples can “earn” secure attachments when experiencing shared growth or stress. Mismatched (one secure and one insecure) attachment styles show almost as high a success rate.
The dyadic effect usually comes to the fore when both individuals have insecure attachment styles.
In Enneagram Type 6 compatibility with Type 9, Sixes exhibit high anxiety and high avoidance, while Nines have two possible types, depending on their wings. Enneagram 9w8 has high anxiety and high avoidance—an insecure attachment style. Enneagram 9w1 has low anxiety and low avoidance—a secure attachment style.
Wings, Growth, and Stress
Fives, Sevens, Eights, and Ones make up the possible wings of Sixes and Nines.
Enneagram Type 6 compatibility with Type 9 can be further affected during the growth or stress of each individual, when they may take on personality traits of their integration type.
What Each Type Brings to the Relationship
The unique blend of character traits present in individual Sixes and Nines will most likely affect the outcome of Enneagram Type 6 compatibility with Type 9.
Enneagram Type 6: The Loyalist
Esteemed for their loyalty, Sixes may value this quality in others too. They’re friendly and responsible but may procrastinate over decisions. Their possibly pessimistic outlook may come from low self-worth and their fears surrounding safety. These fears could extend from the stability of society to the harmony within their relationships.
Sixes thrive on predictable outcomes and may falter when facing challenges. If they keep people at arm’s length, it’s because they may not entirely trust their intentions. “Phobic” Sixes tend to steer clear of those issues that cause them anxiety. “Counter-phobic” Sixes may seem aggressive in their approach to these triggers.
Generally, Sixes are creative in problem-solving, and their tendency to expect the worst makes them excel during crises. While they happily follow rules and procedures, they may often need reassurance.
Enneagram Type 9: The Peacemaker
The passive and unbiased nature of Nines makes them excellent at smoothing out conflicts between others. It also means that they may consider the needs and desires of others as more important than their own. This lack of self-importance can lead to a reduced drive toward success.
Nines are calm, compassionate, encouraging, and friendly. However, they may consider themselves inconsequential and feel that others might reject them if they raise issues. This heightens their need for stability and their dislike of challenges, changes, or new experiences.
Enneagram Wing Contribution
The wings of Sixes and Nines will impact their personalities to varying degrees. This could alter Enneagram Type 6 compatibility with Type 9.
Enneagram Type 6w5, Type 6w7, Type 9w8, and Type 9w1
Since Fives usually prefer being left alone with their thoughts, Sixes with a dominant wing in Five may have a reduced need for the reassurance of others.
Five’s attachment style: insecure.
The effect of a dominant Seven wing should see a rise in the confidence of Sixes. They may be more fun-loving, optimistic, and impulsive.
Seven’s attachment style: insecure
Nines with a dominant wing in Eight may be less prone to allowing others to take precedence over them. Their rise in confidence might see them taking up challenges and engaging in conflicts.
Eight’s attachment style: insecure
The consciousness of Ones, as a dominant Nine wing, might increase the productivity of Nines. They may be more critical of themselves and others, and therefore, more biased in opinion.
One’s attachment style: secure
Positives of This Pairing
Many complementary aspects surface during the analysis of Enneagram Type 6 compatibility with Type 9.
Because Sixes may lean toward pessimism, they often seek reassurance. Optimistic, friendly, and cheerful Nines will thrive on encouraging their Six partners. Nines will probably gain satisfaction from seeing, through their support, how Sixes grow in confidence and in their sense of safety.
Over time, the loyalty of Sixes may help Nines feel more relaxed about their value in this world. Their reduced fear of rejection could help them gain confidence, and they may allow themselves to express their concerns.
While the relationship between Sixes and Nines is mostly positive, some problems could negatively impact Enneagram Type 6 compatibility with Type 9.
While Sixes may perpetually expect problems to arise, when they do, Nines may not take these issues seriously. When Sixes raise this seeming carelessness in conflict, Nines could respond passive-aggressively.
Sixes may then start to mistrust their Nine partners. And this could cause the old fears of Sixes to resurface. Once Sixes lose their trust in others, it may not easily be rekindled.
Nines are usually optimistic and prefer having harmonious relationships. The ongoing fear, skepticism, and gloominess in Sixes may get to Nines, though they’re unlikely to confront Sixes on the matter.
The partnership between Sixes and Nines, as discussed in Enneagram Type 6 compatibility with Type 9, can be one of warm companionship and nurturing. Sixes and Nines are both warm and friendly and this could result in a harmonious and fulfilling relationship.
However, they may both incline toward procrastination and indecision. For this reason, the relationship may take some time to solidify.
This couple may benefit from using the Enneagram in their personal development. Their mutual integration may further improve their relationship.
To discover your Enneagram type, complete the Enneagram Personality Test.