The well-used Enneagram personality typing has aided many individuals to understand the reason they may react to specific stimuli in a distinct manner. The Enneagram helps mental healthcare facilities, and the human resources departments of corporations, to establish the characteristics of an individual. This knowledge is also vital and applicable in many other areas of life, including career and personal development. Not to mention relationships.
Today, we’ll specifically focus on Enneagram Sixes and what happens when both partners in a relationship are Enneagram Type Six. Ultimately, they make a beautiful couple. However, there are several things to watch out for, if your partner is also a Six.
Type 6 Compatibility With Type 6
Various dynamics may affect the overall value of Enneagram Type 6 compatibility with Type 6. This includes the wings of each individual, their integrative or disintegrative state, their attachment types, and whether EnneaDyads may influence their Enneagram types.
Data from 324 couples was analyzed in a dissertation from Walden university. It may already be common knowledge that men and women choose partners differently. However, the date showed that they show compatibility levels differently too.
Enneagram Type 6 compatibility with Type 6 returns a score of 93%.
EnneaDyads may find benefits in relationships with insecure or mismatched attachment styles. If only Allied and Integrative categories show success in relationships, EnneaDyads may not have a direct impact on a double Six pairing. However, they could if success is achieved in the following order
- Woman is 6 and man is 5/Man is 6 and woman is 7
- Woman is 6 and man is 9/Man is 6 and woman is 3
- Woman is 6 and man is 3/Man is 6 and woman is 9
- Woman and man are both 6
- Woman is 6 and man is 7/Man is 6 and woman is 5
- Either the man or woman is 6 and their partner is 1, 2, 4, 8
Anxiety and Avoidance in Attachment Styles
When both partners have natural, secure attachment styles, the relationship is highly likely to prevail. Also, couples can “earn” secure attachment styles if they share a stress or growth situation. Mismatched (one secure and one insecure) attachment styles follow closely in terms of success rates. So, the dyadic effect is most profound in relationships where both partners have insecure attachment styles.
Wings, Growth, and Stress
The wings of Sixes—Fives and Sevens—both show insecure attachment styles.
Other influencers of Enneagram Type 6 compatibility with Type 6 are the integration types that Sixes follow when in growth or stress.
What Each Type Brings to the Relationship
The double Sixes of Enneagram Type 6 compatibility with Type 6 may prove a powerful union.
Enneagram Type 6: The Loyalist
Enneagram Sixes are probably the worry-warts of the Enneagram personality model. However, in this, lies their strength and their weakness. They may expect the worst, and this makes them excellent leaders during crises, where they find focus in their imaginative problem-solving abilities.
Sixes are immensely loyal but may fear that others—in all spheres of life—might betray them. While they enjoy being around people, they often lack self-confidence. They find harmony in solid structures, predictable outcomes, and procedures, so they may not be the most adventurous types.
As loyal as sixes may be, they’re committed to the people closest to them rather than to organizations, but they are unlikely to rock the boat, both personally and professionally. Because of their insecurities, they may need reassurance from others in all areas.
While “phobic” Sixes might avoid things that concern them, “counterphobic” Sixes may, sometimes aggressively, challenge these things.
Enneagram Wing Contribution
It’s important to note in Enneagram Type 6 compatibility with Type 6, as with any other pairing, that the dominant wings of each individual will alter the overall match.
Enneagram Type 6w5 and Type 6w7
If Sixes have a dominant wing in Five, also known as 6w5, they may be less fearful of outcomes or betrayals. While they may not be the most confident individuals, they will probably not feel overly concerned with the opinions of others. Their sense of loyalty, however, will prevail.
Five’s attachment style: insecure.
A dominant Seven wing may see this Six feeling more self-confident, adventurous, and enthusiastic—less pessimistic, overall. It’s also possible the inherently loyal side of Sixes will be diminished since they will probably self-gratify rather than seek reassurance from others.
Seven’s attachment style: insecure.
Positives of This Pairing
Enneagram Type 6 compatibility with Type 6 could make for a wonderful partnership between core Sixes. Both partners may need reassurance in personal and professional matters. Since Sixes empathize with their own feelings of self-doubt, a Six partner will probably be the perfect provider of this encouragement.
As an intellectual pair, double Sixes may find satisfaction in working together on mutual-interest hobbies or projects. Also, since both excel at crisis management, they could be an excellent team during emergencies. This may help bind and strengthen their relationship.
Since loyalty goes both ways, they may find it easier to trust a Six partner, especially if both know that they fall under the Enneagram Type 6 banner.
Enneagram Type 6 compatibility with Type 6 will show a deterioration if the Sixes feed off the fears and self-doubts of their partners. They may have slightly different issues, and they could pit these woes in a pessimistic competition. Instead of supporting their partners, in this case, they may try to one-up (or one-down) them.
If this happens, they may lose trust in their partner. Instead of relying on each other, these Sixes may begin internally questioning the validity of their relationship. As stress takes over, their inherent fears may surface. Regarding the relationship, they could imagine the worst-case scenario. Alternatively, they may imagine a fantastical future with an idealized image of another person—real or imagined.
In Enneagram Type 6 compatibility with Type 6, the relationship will probably find the most success if both individuals have completed an Enneagram personality assessment. Since Sixes thrive on the predictable, they may find safety in knowing that they’re equally loyal while suffering similar fears and doubts.
Still, it’s easy to get stuck in routines and forget the needs of a partner. So, it will be important that both Sixes consciously encourage and reassure their partner, personally and professionally.
To discover your Enneagram type, complete the Enneagram Personality Test.