Over the years, Enneagram personality typing has become increasingly popular as an aide for personal growth and within existing relationships. With new relationships, many hope to understand their chances of having a successful coupling.
Today, we’ll focus exclusively on Enneagram Type 5 and Type 9. Their relationship can work out splendidly but not without a little bit of effort on both sides. Let’s go over the goods and the bads of this couple, and what can each do to improve the relationship.
Type 5 Compatibility With Type 9
The dominant wings, the integration or disintegration state of each individual, the attachment styles, and EnneaDyads may affect Enneagram Type 5 compatibility with Type 9.
A dissertation from Walden university obtained data from 324 couples. The results showed that men and women may choose, and show compatibility with, partners differently.
49% is the score of Enneagram Type 5 compatibility with Type 9, based on core Fives and Nines.
If EnneaDyads impact relationships, success would either only apply to Allied and Integrative categories, or in the following order
- Woman is 5 and man is 4/Man is 5 and woman is 6
- Woman is 9 and man is 8/Man is 9 and woman is 1
- Woman is 5 and man is 8/Man is 5 and woman is 7
- Woman is 9 and man is 3/Man is 9 and woman is 6
- Woman is 5 and man is 7/Man is 5 and woman is 8
- Woman is 9 and man is 6/Man is 9 and woman is 3
- Woman and man are both 5
- Woman and man are both 9
- Woman is 5 and man is 6/Man is 5 and woman is 4
- Woman is 9 and man is 1/Man is 9 and woman is 8
- Either the man or woman is 5 and their partner is 1, 2, 3, 9
- Either the man or woman is 9 and their partner is 2, 4, 5, 7
Anxiety and Avoidance in Attachment Styles
At odds with Enneagram Type 5 compatibility with Type 9, most successful relationships arise from both partners having secure or “earned” secure—when a couple experiences growth or stress as a couple—attachment styles. Following closely are mismatched (one secure and one insecure) attachment styles. The dyadic effect comes into play in insecure attachment styles.
While Nines with a dominant One wing exhibit secure attachment styles, Nines with a dominant wing in Eight exhibit high anxiety and high avoidance, and Fives are low anxiety and high avoidance. These are both insecure attachment styles.
Wings, Growth, and Stress
Four, Six, Eight, and One are the potential wings of Fives and Nines. Of these, only Ones have a secure attachment style.
During personal growth or stress, the changes in personality may swing Enneagram Type 5 compatibility with Type 9 either positively or negatively.
What Each Type Brings to the Relationship
In Enneagram Type 5 compatibility with Type 9, Fives and Nines bring their own core personality traits.
Enneagram Type 5: The Investigator
It probably wouldn’t be uncommon for Enneagram Type 5s to hole up in deep concentration with their latest discovery or invention. Although they may seem detached, they desire a relationship that they can value. Still, they can be private and may hope to pass under the radar.
They don’t enjoy others becoming too involved or making demands in their lives, nor do they attempt to influence others. While they might lack confidence, they’re highly capable, organized, and dependable. Also, they care about the goings-on in the world where the welfare of others is concerned.
Although independent in thought, they’re unlikely to express these thoughts openly. They’re outwardly calm, but inwardly, they may feel unsettled. They dislike things thrust on them at the last minute and may concern themselves over how successful they appear to others.
Enneagram Type 9: The Peacemaker
Nines, inherently tranquil, may conceal their annoyances for the sake of keeping their relationships stable. This can be due to their dislike of change or the fear that their partner could reject them. Of course, this means they’re excellent at mediating peaceful solutions during conflicts.
They may hold others in higher regard than they do themselves or their performance and can disregard their own needs. Nines sincerely care for the welfare of all. They can be a little reserved, and as much tranquility as they transmit, within, they can feel insecure.
Enneagram Wing Contribution
Besides core characteristics, the dominant wings of Fives and Nines will influence Enneagram Type 5 compatibility with Type 9.
Enneagram Type 5w4, Type 5w6, Type 9w8, and Type 9w1
Fives with a dominant wing in Four, or 5w4, may show a stronger preference toward the creative and aesthetic side of their natures. They could be slightly more prone to moodiness and hold greater regard for their personal appearance.
Four’s attachment style: insecure.
Enneagram 5w6 could be slightly less needy of solitude and more caring about those close to them. They may be a little more socially open, less turbulent within, and more welcoming of others’ appreciation of them.
Six’s attachment style: insecure.
Nines with a dominant wing in Eight could be more demanding of their own needs, and more confrontational. Their confidence could also be significantly greater and they may be a bit more driven to succeed.
Eight’s attachment style: insecure.
An Enneagram 9w1 will probably be more structured and harder working. They may be more critical of results—both their own and others’. 9w1 will probably be less insecure in themselves and more concerned with the opinions of others.
One’s attachment style: secure.
Positives of This Pairing
Harmony may reign in Enneagram Type 5 compatibility with Type 9. This is possibly due to the aversion to confrontation present in both Fives and Nines. This could bring both Fives and Nines a sense of contentment in their home life.
Fives may appreciate a direct approach, and as Nines realize they’re safe when expressing their feelings to Fives, they may learn to push their fears aside and raise their concerns more freely. As Fives encourage this behavior, Nines may grow more confident.
Neither seek to hold the torch but, recognizing the importance of structure in the household, Fives will take the lead in decision-making, since their Nine partners may not. Fives will probably recognize the organization skills in Nines and encourage them to help in this way. This could give Nines a sense of value within the relationship.
The deterioration of Enneagram Type 5 compatibility with Type 9 may come as a surprise to both partners. Everything will probably appear to be running smoothly until the wheels fall off. This could be due to the fact that while Fives may seem disengaged, Nines might conceal their discontentment as, at a subconscious level, they may fear that raising issues could lead to Fives rejecting them.
Although Nines will probably conceal their feelings, they could become angry over their Five partner’s apathy toward the welfare of those close to them and the world at large. Also, if Fives behave in a way that accentuates their lack of concern about the opinions of others, their Nine partners may feel embarrassed.
Intellectual Fives may enjoy discussing their findings and having their partner give an objective opinion. Since Nines don’t want to rock the boat, they may not commit to an opinion. Fives could see this as a lack of interest. Fives might, ultimately, lose respect for their Nine partners over the very thing that Nines avoid in order to save the relationship—remaining passive.
Fives and Nines have some similar traits that could strengthen Enneagram Type 5 compatibility with Type 9. For example, both may lack a certain confidence. But recognizing this characteristic in their partners could make them more encouraging toward each other.
If the individual Fives and Nines use the Enneagram as a tool for their personal development, embracing both wings and moving along their integration lines could benefit their relationship.
To discover your Enneagram type, complete the Enneagram Personality Test.