The examination of Enneagram Type 4 compatibility with Type 9 finds its basis in Enneagram personality typing. The Enneagram personality model has existed for many decades, perhaps even going back centuries. It is widely used in the human resources departments of corporations for placing employees and in career choices. Mental health care providers may also find value in Enneagram, as it can help them better understand a patient.
In relationships, the characteristics of partners often influence how likely their partnership is to endure. This article discusses Enneagram Type 4 compatibility with Type 9 and establishes the various positive aspects and the points that may cause disruption in the union.
Type 4 Compatibility With Type 9
Ultimately, Enneagram Type 4 compatibility with Type 9, may lie in the wings and whether the Fours and Nines involved are in a state of growth or stress.
A Walden university dissertation examined the data from 324 couples in relation to EnneaDyads and secure, mismatched, or insecure attachment styles. They believe that men and women choose partners differently and also show different compatibility levels to personality types.
With no external nudging, Enneagram Type 4 compatibility with Type 9 is 11%, however, it’s important to consider all aspects of the relationship before dismissing it as an unlikely union.
Allied and Integrative may be the only categories to influence relationships. Alternatively, success may be obtained in the following order.
- Woman is 4 and man is 3/man is 4 and woman is 5
- Woman is 9 and man is 8/man is 9 and woman is 1
- Woman is 4 and man is 1/man is 4 and woman is 2
- Woman is 9 and man is 3/man is 9 and woman is 6
- Woman is 4 and man is 2/man is 4 and woman is 1
- Woman is 9 and man is 6/man is 9 and woman is 3
- Woman and man are both 4
- Woman and man are both 9
- Woman is 4 and man is 5/man is 4 and woman is 3
- Woman is 9 and man is 1/man is 9 and woman is 8
- Either the man or woman is 4 and their partner is 6,7,8,9
- Either the man or woman is 9 and their partner is 2,4,5,7
Anxiety and Avoidance in Attachment Styles
Most successful relationships arise when both partners have secure or ‘earned’ secure attachment styles. Relationships ‘earn’ secure attachments in certain pairs when they experience mutual growth or stress. Mismatched (one secure and one insecure) attachment styles follow closely.
Fours show high anxiety and low avoidance, which is an insecure attachment style. Nines are the exception if their dormant wing is Eight (high anxiety and high avoidance), they are considered an insecure attachment style. However, if their wing is One, they have a secure attachment style.
Wings, Growth and Stress
As mentioned, the wings of Nines are Eights and Ones. Four has wings of Threes and Fives. Both Ones and Threes show secure attachment styles. This may be positive for Enneagram Type 4 compatibility with Type 9.
Integration and disintegration (growth and stress) may also result in personality alterations.
What Each Type Brings to the Relationship
The characteristics of Fours and Nines will affect the outcome of Enneagram Type 4 compatibility with Type 9.
Enneagram Type 4: The Individualist
The creativity and imagination of Fours may come with a level of emotional volatility. However, Fours show a high level of trust, warmth, and a charitable spirit. They care deeply for the welfare of all creatures and salute other customs, traditions, and cultures.
They prefer to engage with their own unique thoughts and actions than to control or dominate those of others. They may hope to present their creations to the world but lack the confidence or drive to push these out there, and perhaps hope for an influential power to ‘discover’ them.
As much as they appreciate the beauty in life and in their innovations, they’re not pleasure-seekers and may expect others not to see what they see.
Enneagram Type 9: The Peacemaker
Nines tend toward being noncommittal in opinion. However, this makes them highly open and accepting of other customs and cultures. They’re kind, calm, and warm, and, like Fours, they care for the welfare of others.
They are not motivated to try new things, even if these excite others. However, they’re unlikely to stubbornly resist if pushed. Working hard and achieving great things may also not feature on their agenda.
Although they’re reliable and submissive, these traits may stem from deep-rooted insecurity and a lack of harmony within themselves.
Enneagram Wing Contribution
Depending on the dominant wing of the Four and Nine partner, it may swing Enneagram Type 4 compatibility with Type 9 in a different direction.
Enneagram Type 4w3, Type 4w5, Type 9w8, and Type 9w1
A strong Three wing could bend this Four, making this artist a confident go-getter. The general moodiness and anxiety present in Threes may be absent.
Three’s attachment style: secure.
Five as a dominant Four wing could help this Four produce a unique, intellectually motivated creation. They may feel more detached and less emotionally affected by whether they matter.
Five’s attachment style: insecure
Nines with an Eight wing could be more decisive, opinionated, and confident. The organization skills of both Eights and Nines will still stand strong, while they might confront issues instead of suppressing their anger.
Eight’s attachment style: insecure
If One is the dominant wing of this Nine, they will probably have a stronger personal standing and be a little less tolerant of immorality or imperfection in themselves or others. They might combine their organizational skills with their conscientiousness.
One’s attachment style: secure
Positives of This Pairing
The many complimentary traits of Fours and Nines will enhance Enneagram Type 4 compatibility with Type 9. Gentleness and warm acquiescence prevail in both partners. This could see them working side by side in household chores and projects, rather than one presiding over the other.
If Fours and Nines embark on a joint humanitarian mission, combining the creativity of Fours with organizational skills could benefit their chosen charity. The common goal may draw this couple closer.
They’re unlikely to compete for superiority in themselves or in their achievements. This could create the sense of peace that Nines so crave.
Also, in Nines, Fours may believe they’ve found that special romantic connection they believe everyone else already has.
As peaceful as the relationship between Fours and Nines may be, a few issues arise in Enneagram Type 4 compatibility with Type 9.
Both Nines and Fours engage well with powerful partners, and Nines may view Fours as irrationally unstable and whimsical, while Fours could see Nines as weak and insipid.
Fours may want to bounce their creative ideas off of their Nine partner. However, not having the imagination of Fours, Nines may not envision the finished project. This could offend Fours.
If Fours raise concerns, Nines may initially dismiss these, as Nines dislike dealing with disruptions. Since emotions are an intrinsic part of Fours, this may cause Fours to become temperamental during subsequent discussions. And as peace-seeking Nines shy away from conflicts, they may hide beneath a passive-aggressive facade.
Ultimately, they could both disengage emotionally, and this would cause the relationship to suffer.
Communication is key in Enneagram Type 4 compatibility with Type 9. As difficult as it is for Fours to remain unemotional, it will be important that they do when raising concerns with Nines. Also, Nines may need to remember that Fours will not judge them for expressing their feelings.
Using Enneagram for personal development could help this couple engage with both their wings and improve Enneagram Type 4 compatibility with Type 9.
To discover your Enneagram type, complete the Enneagram Personality Test.