One of the most widely used personality models is the Enneagram. It offers the HR departments of corporations a deep insight into the personalities of their staff. It’s also used in mental healthcare, and for individuals who embark on a crusade of personal development. Also, many use the Enneagram to determine the likelihood of success in relationships, both personal and professional.
Speaking of relationships, the following article talks in detail about Enneagram Type 4 compatibility with Type 6. It delves into the pleasures that this couple may experience together, as well as their difficulties. Let’s dive into this interesting couple.
Type 4 Compatibility With Type 6
Phases of personal growth may affect Enneagram Type 4 compatibility with Type 6, as well as their wings, and times when Fours or Sixes experience stress—either in their own capacity or as a couple.
Also, a dissertation conducted at Walden university discussed the findings taken from 324 couples. Men and women find that they’re compatible with, and choose, different personalities in their partners. EnneaDyads and secure or insecure attachment styles may also affect Enneagram Type 4 compatibility with Type 6.
Although this is based only on the core personality types of Fours and Sixes, the score of 75% seems positive for Enneagram Type 4 compatibility with Type 6.
Allied and integrative partners may be the only categories to influence EnneaDyads, and then, only with insecure or mismatched (one secure and one insecure) attachment styles. It is, however, possible that these styles may show success in the following order
- Woman is 4 and man is 3/Man is 4 and woman is 5
- Woman is 6 and man is 5/Man is 6 and woman is 7
- Woman is 4 and man is 1/Man is 4 and woman is 2
- Woman is 6 and man is 9/Man is 6 and woman is 3
- Woman is 4 and man is 2/Man is 4 and woman is 1
- Woman is 6 and man is 3/Man is 6 and woman is 9
- Woman and man are both 4
- Woman and man are both 6
- Woman is 4 and man is 5/Man is 4 and woman is 3
- Woman is 6 and man is 7/Man is 6 and woman is 5
- Either the man or woman is 4 and their partner is 6, 7, 8, or 9
- Either the man or woman is 6 and their partner is 1, 2, 4, or 8
Anxiety and Avoidance in Attachment Styles
Couples present the greatest likelihood of success when both partners exhibit secure, or “earned” secure, attachment styles. Earned secure attachments are those achieved through couples experiencing mutual growth or stress within their relationship.
Fours and Sixes show insecure attachment styles, being high anxiety and low avoidance and high anxiety and high avoidance, respectively. The dyadic effect, along with their wings and growth, will hold sway in Enneagram Type 4 compatibility with Type 6.
Wings, Growth, and Stress
Threes, Fives, and Sevens—the wings of Fours and Sixes—may profoundly affect Enneagram Type 4 compatibility with Type 6, as only Threes have a naturally secure attachment style.
As mentioned, if an individual or couple experiences integration or disintegration (growth and stress), the relationship may develop an “earned” secure attachment through their altered characteristics during these periods.
What Each Type Brings to the Relationship
Fours and Sixes bring their core traits, as well as those of their wings, to Enneagram Type 4 compatibility with Type 6.
Enneagram Type 4: The Individualist
One of the strongest attributes of Fours may be their inquiring and independently innovative minds. They will stretch the bounds of social norms in pursuit of something new and distinct.
These warm and unguarded, yet emotional, types will probably embrace other customs, cultures, and beliefs with warmth and humanitarianism. Fours don’t seek to control others nor do they aspire to be rewarded with accolades.
They’ll focus more on their creations than on gratifying the expectations of others. However, they may feel insecure about how they differ from their peers. This could lead them to withdraw into negative anxiety or moodiness.
Enneagram Type 6: The Loyalist
Loyal, yet emotionally guarded, Sixes sincerely care about those closest to them and have a high regard for the customs or religions of others. They’re usually calm, reliable, organized, and practical, making them great troubleshooters.
While they may not attempt to control or manipulate others, or to receive social recognition, they do hope for regular reassurance that their loyalty is reciprocated. This may arise from their introspective natures and their lack of trust in others.
Sixes may dislike change and, therefore, prefer tried and tested methods with solid structures and firm guidelines to which they can selflessly contribute.
Enneagram Wing Contribution
The dominant wings of the Fours and Sixes will powerfully footprint in Enneagram Type 4 compatibility with Type 6.
Enneagram Type 4w3, Type 4w5, Type 6w5, and Type 6w7
Three as a dominant Four wing may insert their confidence, drive, and emotional stability. These traits could significantly alter Enneagram Type 4 compatibility with Type 6.
Three’s attachment style: secure
If the dominant wing of Four is Five, then they’ll present with a diminished sense of being out of place—since they’d probably prefer to do things on their own and out of the reach of others.
If Five is the dominant wing of Six, the individual may gain significant independence in thought and action. They probably won’t need external guidance, as they will prefer to provide their own.
Five’s attachment style: insecure
A dominant wing of Seven may see Sixes grow in self-assurance, gain independence, and experience a reduced need to sacrifice themselves for the good of others.
Seven’s attachment style: insecure
Positives of This Pairing
A few complementary traits of Fours and Sixes may benefit Enneagram Type 4 compatibility with Type 6.
Loyal to a fault, Sixes may give Fours the perfect romance that they so often crave. Despite their many fears, Sixes can lead others through crises. Fours may feel comforted knowing that they have a thoughtful and loyal listener in their partner, who may help them through their emotional meltdowns.
The innate trust present in Fours could rub off on Sixes, who may otherwise suspiciously seek ulterior motives. And when inevitable changes are thrown at the couple, Fours may guide their Six partners through, thereby gaining their trust.
In normal circumstances, the neediness of Sixes may drain their partner. However, in Enneagram Type 4 compatibility with Type 6, this may give Fours the sense that, for someone at least, they have significance.
Enneagram Type 4 compatibility with Type 6 may regress when, instead of confronting and discussing their problems in a logical and calm manner, Fours withdraw into anxiety or moodiness. This could make Sixes feel that they no longer have the support of Fours, and it could make them wary.
Sixes crave stability and are attuned to sensing the moods of others. The whimsical side of Fours may cause Sixes to feel uncertain about their Four partners. This may ultimately lead to a growing mistrust within Sixes, and they could descend into pessimism. Fours already lean toward this sentiment. Once this happens, Fours and Sixes may feed each other’s negativity. And Fours, at this stage, may feel more out of place and dismal than ever.
When things aren’t going well in their relationship, it may be important for Fours and Sixes to confront these problems with calm rationality. Also, they may benefit from providing each other with positive affirmations.
Another thing that may improve Enneagram Type 4 compatibility with Type 6 is to use the Enneagram in personal development and thereby, help their relationship grow. When each individual learns to apply both wings, it may help with this.
To discover your Enneagram type, complete the Enneagram Personality Test.