The role of Enneagram personality typing within companies is often to get an overview of their employee’s personalities—it may aid in career choices and departmental suitability. Mental healthcare providers may also utilize the Enneagram to get to know the inner workings of their patients. Additionally, the Enneagram may aid individuals in their personal development and in their relationships. It helps them understand their other halves better, plus have some sort of knowledge on what the potential issues in their relationship might face.
This article outlines the romantic relationship qualities of Enneagram Type 4 with Type 5, as well as potential issues that may arise.
Type 4 Compatibility With Type 5
Some other elements that may affect Enneagram Type 4 compatibility with Type 5 could be the dominant wings of the Fours and Fives involved, and whether the individuals are in an integrative or disintegrative phase.
Also, a dissertation done for Walden university gathered information from 324 couples, in relation to secure, mismatched, or insecure attachment styles, and EnneaDyads.
With a percentage score of 81%, Enneagram Type 4 compatibility with Type 5 may appear as a near-perfect match.
In relationships of insecure attachment styles, as in Enneagram Type 4 compatibility with Type 5, only Allied and Integrative EnneaDyad categories may affect the likelihood of success in relationships. However, categories could influence the outcome in the following order:
- Woman is 4 and man is 3/Man is 4 and woman is 5
- Woman is 5 and man is 4/Man is 5 and woman is 6
- Woman is 4 and man is 1/Man is 4 and woman is 2
- Woman is 5 and man is 8/Man is 5 and woman is 7
- Woman is 4 and man is 2/Man is 4 and woman is 1
- Woman is 5 and man is 7/Man is 5 and woman is 8
- Woman and man are both 4
- Woman and man are both 5
- Woman is 4 and man is 5/Man is 4 and woman is 3
- Woman is 5 and man is 6/Man is 5 and woman is 4
- Either the man or woman is 4 and their partner is 6, 7, 8, or 9
- Either the man or woman is 5 and their partner is 1, 2, 3, or 9
Anxiety and Avoidance in Attachment Styles
In romantic pairings, most successful relationships occur when both partners have secure attachment styles. Mismatched—one secure and one insecure—attachment styles follow closely in terms of success rates.
Also, couples may “earn” secure attachments, which seem to endure, when they share integrative or disintegrative periods.
The dyadic effect seems, largely, to impact relationships where both parties have insecure attachment styles, such as in Enneagram Type 4 compatibility with Type 5. Fours have high anxiety and low avoidance, and Fives have low anxiety and high avoidance.
Wings, Growth, and Stress
The wings of Fours and Fives bring Threes and Sixes into the fold. Depending on the influence of Threes, Enneagram Type 4 compatibility with Type 5 may show an overall insecure attachment style.
This is often where “earned” secure attachment styles play a role, as during growth and stress (integration and disintegration), individuals undergo several personality changes.
What Each Type Brings to the Relationship
The personality traits of Fours and Fives will filter in at varying levels, and affect the results of Enneagram Type 4 compatibility with Type 5.
Enneagram Type 4: The Individualist
Independent and creative, Fours are usually accommodating and open to the customs and beliefs of others. They care about the welfare of people and animals and are gentle and charitable.
They have little desire to control the opinions of others and like to be afforded the same courtesy when exploring their own unique ideas. While they may not seek success for their creations, they appreciate acknowledgment for the distinct beauty of them.
Their tendency to feel anxious or moody, especially when criticized, may come from their diminished self-esteem. They accomplish goals at their own pace and are not unusually self-indulgent.
Enneagram Type 5: The Investigator
Fives may diligently involve themselves when gleaning information. Their high level of independence in thought and their tendency to detach from others can make them seem difficult. However, Fives are usually gracious in behavior.
They can be withdrawn and private, and their accumulated knowledge is for their own benefit rather than to share with the world or to show as achievements. In fact, because of a general lack of confidence, they probably won’t expect others to enjoy their discoveries and may leave others to find their own while keeping theirs to themselves.
Enneagram Wing Contribution
The wings, especially the dominant wing, will further adjust Enneagram Type 4 compatibility with Type 5.
Enneagram Type 4w3, Type 4w5, Type 5w4, and Type 5w6
If Fours have a dominant wing in Three, they may be more driven to succeed and to bring their creations to the world.
Three’s attachment style: secure
A dominant wing of Five may add strong moral values and creativity in problem-solving to Fours. In Fives, a dominant wing of Four will add a layer of creativity to their desire to discover. If these are present in this couple, the mutual interests could enhance Enneagram Type 4 compatibility with Type 5.
Fours and Five’s attachment style: insecure
A Five with a dominant wing of Six could see them being less self-reliant and a little more dependent on the reassurance of their partners.
Six’s attachment style: insecure
Positives of This Pairing
In Enneagram Type 4 compatibility with Type 5, both Fours and Fives bring a powerful brand of intuition. They can, therefore, comprehend their partner’s concerns without a lengthy discussion. And as they both withdraw into their own thoughts, they may individually work through the underlying issues and form something of their own compromise.
As a couple who may not always blend well with society, Fours and Fives may form a powerful alliance—they could have a sense of “us against the world”—and this could become the glue that binds them.
In their home life, the couple may work together in a kind of symbiosis. The blend of creativity in Fours and the analytical, exploratory side of Fives could see amazing and unique projects surfacing. Fives will find contentment in observing the result. Fours will appreciate their Five partner’s contributions. And Fives will praise their Four partners for the beauty in the mutual creation.
The subliminal understanding between Fours and Fives might seem a perfect solution to the logical Five. However, for Fours, the lack of verbal communication could frustrate them, since they need to express their emotions.
Also, in Enneagram Type 4 compatibility with Type 5, Fours appreciate an artistic beauty in their surroundings while maintaining an air of elegance and refinement in themselves and their creations. Since Fives hold little value in the grandeur, they may intrinsically dismiss the quality of their Four partner’s efforts and creations.
This could feed the fear of Fours that they’re inconsequential. They may retreat into a state of moodiness. Analytical Fives might view overemotional Fours as fickle, self-centered, and whimsical. As Fives withdraw further, Fours could grow depressed and a downward spiral may follow.
Both Fours and Fives can be private, self-reliant, and introspective. While Fours may be more emotional, Fives can seem detached. However, both types enjoy spending time in their heads.
Establishing personal growth through the Enneagram could prove helpful in Enneagram Type 4 compatibility with Type 5. As Fours and Fives learn to embrace both wings more fully, they could both become more well-rounded in themselves and more engaged in their romance.
To discover your Enneagram type, complete the Enneagram Personality Test.