The existence of personality models probably came about around the same time that humankind grew curious and the age-old question arose of, “Who are we?” and “Where do we come from?”
In recent times, these models have become more structured and allow for variations in personality. Enneagram personality typing is one such model. Corporations, mental healthcare providers, and individuals may all benefit from using the Enneagram.
Many find that the Enneagram helps with personal development. However, in relationships of all kinds, it can also be a useful tool. That’s especially true when you want to learn more about your partner, how to understand them, what to avoid, etc.
This article analyzes Enneagram Type 4 compatibility with Type 4, along with the attributes that make the relationship a good match, as well as the potential issues.
Type 4 Compatibility With Type 4
Various external elements may shift Enneagram Type 4 compatibility with Type 4, such as wings, integration, and disintegration. Also, a specific Walden university dissertation examined data collected from 324 couples—exploring EnneaDyads and secure or insecure attachment styles.
Compatibility Score
When looking at the core Enneagram type of Four, the compatibility score could be as high as 97%.
EnneaDyads
Some believe that only Allied and Integrative EnneaDyad categories have any effect on relationships. And then, only in mismatched and insecure attachment styles—such as in Enneagram Type 4 compatibility with Type 4.
- Ally
- Woman is 4 and man is 3/Man is 4 and woman is 5
- Disintegrative
- Woman is 4 and man is 1/Man is 4 and woman is 2
- Integrative
- Woman is 4 and man is 2/Man is 4 and woman is 1
- Matching
- Woman and man are both 4
- Shadow
- Woman is 4 and man is 5/Man is 4 and woman is 3
- Non-related
- Either the man or woman is 4 and their partner is 6, 7, 8, or 9
Anxiety and Avoidance in Attachment Styles
When both partners show secure attachment styles, they may have the greatest chance of a successful relationship. And mismatched attachment styles—one secure and one insecure partner—follow closely behind.
Alternatively, earned secure attachments also show excellent results. This happens when both partners in existing relationships undergo shared growth or stress.
EnneaDyads may play a significant role with Fours, who have insecure attachment styles—high anxiety and low avoidance.
Wings, Growth, and Stress
The wings of both Fours, in Enneagram Type 4 compatibility with Type 4, may not be identical—even if they both share a dominant wing of either Three or Five. This is due to the fact that only certain characteristics may filter into the dominant Enneagram type.
Also, when each individual experiences either personal growth or stress (integration or disintegration), various changes in personality infiltrate their core types.
What Each Type Brings to the Relationship
Although both partners of Enneagram Type 4 compatibility with Type 4 are Fours, the assumption that they are identical in personality does not, in reality, apply.
Enneagram Type 4: The Individualist
Fours bring creative vivacity to the Enneagram model. They’re charitable and unguarded when dealing with people. With their vigorous imagination, they enjoy creating new things and discovering alternate methods of handling challenges.
Fours usually care for the welfare of animals and people, and will probably embrace other customs and beliefs. In functioning, Fours fear losing their originality. In this way, they may stubbornly fight for independence in their deeds and in contemplating their thoughts.
As much as Fours like being unique, they also hope to fit in. This could leave them feeling moody and insecure, but they’re not likely to change in order to blend into society.
Enneagram Wing Contribution
The wings, and the intensity of their influence, may significantly shift the personalities of a Four pair in Enneagram Type 4 compatibility with Type 4.
Enneagram Type 4w3, Type 4w5
The primary drive of Threes is to exhibit their success and to receive recognition in return. When Fours have a Three wing, they may be more inclined to seek success for their unique discoveries. They may also be less insecure, more social, and harder working.
Three’s attachment style: secure
If Threes have a dominant wing of Five, they will likely combine their hunger for knowledge with their creativity. The need for privacy of Fives, and their apparent emotional detachment, may further isolate Fours from society as a singular individual.
Five’s attachment style: secure
Positives of This Pairing
In Enneagram Type 4 compatibility with Type 4, a double Four couple who employs their natural creativity could show a high success rate in their relationship. For example, they might enjoy sharing an unusual mutual interest or an exciting innovation.
Fours are warm and trusting individuals who seek love, therefore, they may thrive on providing for each other. While they may not always feel as though others relate to them, they could find comfort and security in knowing that they connect with each other.
As independent thinkers, they could each bring specific ideals into the relationship. For example, in the welfare of others and animals, they may embark on catering to multiple charities together.
Potential Issues
When the fire dies down, Enneagram Type 4 compatibility with Type 4 may not seem so perfect. Fours are not particularly confrontational but may withdraw into moody silences. In double Fours, these silences could go on for protracted periods.
While Fours openly share their feelings, they may not be as attentive to those of others. This could leave one or both partners feeling neglected. Also, the emotional volatility of Fours and their inability to restrain their reactions, may find them expressing their viewpoints too emphatically.
When this happens, the double Fours of Enneagram Type 4 compatibility with Type 4, could both regress into a defeatist state. Since they could end up feeding off each other’s negative emotions, they may struggle to emerge from this.
Conclusion
The continual search for a true romance by Fours may have this couple believing that they have found it. Double Fours will probably come up with distinct and innovative ways of overcoming problems within their relationship if they consciously face them together.
For Enneagram Type 4 compatibility with Type 4 to show positive results, this couple should remember to not only share their feelings but to listen to those of their partner. Also, knowing how much they need space to process their own feelings, they should remember to grant the same civility to their partner.
To discover your Enneagram type, complete the Enneagram Personality Test.