Enneagram personality typing is one of the most extensively used models in corporations when establishing whether a potential new employee may fit their environment and for existing employees to establish possible career changes. Mental health care providers may also use this for patients, and individuals in personal growth.
Since personal development is one of Enneagram’s main intended uses, it’s only natural to talk about compatibility between different types. Today’s focus is Enneagram Type 3 and Type 7, which could actually build a solid and compromising relationship.
In working through the matching of Threes and Sevens, this article establishes the positives and negatives of the relationship.
Type 3 Compatibility With Type 7
Various additions may improve or detract from Enneagram Type 3 compatibility with Type 7. These are the level of influence each wing has over the dominant type, as well as whether the partners may be in a phase of personal growth (integration) or stress (disintegration). The effect on a relationship between Threes and Sevens could be hopeful or dubious.
Compatibility Score
While the core types of Threes and Sevens in Enneagram Type 3 compatibility with Type 7 is 10%, this Walden university dissertation gathered data accumulated from 324 couples. It discusses how many external factors may influence the ultimate result of this pair. It also analyses the input EnneaDyads and secure or insecure attachment styles may have.
EnneaDyads
EnneaDyads may also affect relationships of insecure and mismatched (one secure and one insecure) attachment styles. Some reports show that only Allied and Integrative partners—such as is present in Enneagram Type 3 compatibility with Type 7—may benefit through EnneaDyads, but this study shows success in the following order:
- Ally
- Woman is 3 and man is 2/man is 3 and woman is 4
- Woman is 7 and man is 6/man is 7 and woman is 8
- Disintegrative
- Woman is 3 and man is 6/man is 3 and woman is 9
- Woman is 7 and man is 5/man is 7 and woman is 1
- Integrative
- Woman is 3 and man is 9/man is 3 and woman is 6
- Woman is 7 and man is 1/man is 7 and woman is 5
- Matching
- Woman and man are both 3
- Woman and man are both 7
- Shadow
- Woman is 3 and man is 4/man is 3 and woman is 2
- Woman is 7 and man is 8/man is 7 and woman is 6
- Non-related
- Either the man or woman is 3 and their partner is 1,5,7,8
- Either the man or woman is 7 and their partner is 2,3,4,9
Anxiety and Avoidance in Attachment Styles
Pairs with two secure attachment styles or earned secure attachment styles report the greatest success. Earned secure attachments may happen when a couple experiences either mutual integration (growth) or mutual disintegration (stress).
Like in Enneagram Type 3 compatibility with Type 7, couples of mismatched attachment styles show only minimally less success than those of secure attachment styles. The least success may otherwise present in couples who both have insecure attachment styles.
Threes and Sevens exhibit high anxiety and low avoidance—an insecure attachment style.
Wings, Growth, and Stress
Threes and Sevens have wings of Twos, Fours, Sixes, and Eights. With the secure attachment style of Threes, this relationship may show some success in Enneagram Type 3 compatibility with Type 7.
Integration and disintegration (growth and stress) may further alter the suitability of this couple.
What Each Type Brings to the Relationship
The individual traits of each partner may supply subtle adjustments to Enneagram Type 3 compatibility with Type 7.
Enneagram Type 3: The Achiever
Threes enjoy the finer things in life, materially speaking. They are goal-oriented and desire to have their accomplishments publicly recognized and praised. They enjoy inspiring others to be as successful as them and could respect the drive and ambition they perceive in others. However, Threes may be competitive with those who find success—especially greater than theirs.
Enneagram Type 7: The Individualist
Sevens crave the exciting and fun side of life. They may lack a commitment to achieving success. Nor do they flaunt their accomplishments. They’re impulsive and enthusiastic, however, they’ll probably sooner escape a scene rather than face a confrontation. They love planning new opportunities and may easily bore with monotonous tasks or relationships. Sevens are positive, gregarious, and charming.
Enneagram Wing Contribution
The wings of each Enneagram Type may influence the conclusive outcome of Enneagram Type 3 compatibility with Type 7, as it may alter some characteristics present in each partner. The level would depend on how intensely each wing touches the individual’s personality.
Enneagram Type 3w2, Type 3w4, Type 7w6, and Type 7w8
Twos are the helpers of the Enneagram. They take pride in isolating and satisfying an individual’s needs. In compensation, they may hope to receive acknowledgment and appreciation for their contribution.
Two’s attachment style: insecure
Under the belief that others have found their perfect romantic connection, Fours may feel envious of what they’re missing. Their innovative skills help them find unique ways to solve problems. Beneath what seems like eccentricity, Fours appreciate the beauty and can often present it as elegant.
Four’s attachment style: insecure
Loyal, hardworking, and dependable, Sixes may fear the unknown and sometimes expect future disasters. This, as well as their questioning mind, makes them excellent problem solvers and prepares them for potential crises.
Six’s attachment style: insecure
Protective of their people, powerful, and assertive, Eights may hide any weaknesses and their sensitive hearts beneath a hard shell. They’re decisive and confident and may be combative and even aggressive in confrontations.
Eight’s attachment style: insecure.
Positives of This Pairing
Despite the many opposite characteristics of Threes and Sevens, many positive attributes show up when they become a couple.
In activities, Threes usually follow tried and tested methods, though Sevens do not. In fact, when faced with the mundane, Sevens may create new and exciting ways of doing things. Threes will probably see the potential in the innovations of Sevens, and this will gain the respect of their Three partners.
The couple will probably both enjoy the challenges of planning a new and exciting project. This common goal could draw them together and give them the sense of gratification they both thrive on.
Since neither Threes nor Sevens are highly reactive, they’ll probably be inclined to discuss issues calmly. However, since they mutually guard their emotions, they may not confront problems at all until it’s too late.
Potential Issues
On a level of conscientiousness in Enneagram Type 3 compatibility with Type 7, this pair may be near opposites. And neither Threes nor Sevens may be inclined to adapt in order to accommodate their partner. Threes could expect Sevens to meet the high expectations Threes have—of themselves and by extension, their partners. Sevens would sooner escape an environment where they feel pressure to perform.
Orderliness and showing pride in presentation—for example, having a beautiful home, car, and wardrobe—probably wouldn’t feature with Sevens. However, these things are innately important to Threes, and they may grow increasingly frustrated, especially when in the company of others.
Although Threes and Sevens are both secure in themselves, Threes could lose respect with Sevens for their lack of acquiescence to social expectations and their disregard for personal success. Sevens may consider Threes as incapable of experiencing life because they’re so driven to perform.
Both Sevens and Threes are independent. However, in forward-thinking Sevens, it may turn to boredom, where they may land up planning and executing a speedy escape.
Conclusion
Although both are extroverted, Threes will engage with people from the perspective of an inspirational guide, whereas Sevens will encourage people to explore adventures and fun opportunities with them.
While dependable Threes will work hard and adorn their home with beautiful furniture, Sevens will probably use these as a haven to put up their feet and relax, or for some form of entertainment.
During growth or stress, Enneagram Type 3 compatibility with Type 7 may change. However, THE relationship can improve and certainly benefit if both partners follow the Enneagram system for personal growth.
To discover your Enneagram type, complete the Enneagram Personality Test.