Enneagram personality typing embraces the innate ability of individuals to develop over time. With this philosophy in mind, the Enneagram also encourages growth within relationships. Enneagram Type 2 compatibility with Type 4 may not show fantastic odds of success.
However, if both the Two and Four partners learn to grow through the help of the Enneagram model, their chances of creating a successful, and even blissful, relationship are higher.
This article outlines Enneagram Type 2 and 4 romantic pairings. It supplies information about their compatibility, how they interact, and potential issues. This may help in the journey of enhancing Type 2 compatibility with Type 4.
Type 2 Compatibility With Type 4
Enneagram Type 2 compatibility with Type 4 may have a basic compatibility score, as shown below. However, the wings of each Enneagram type can impact the overall score. Also, depending on whether the Enneagram types are in a state of growth or stress, their integration and disintegration types will affect the relationship, either positively or negatively.
Enneagram Type 2 compatibility with Type 4 shows an initial compatibility of 8%. It is, however, important to note that at least one Walden university dissertation indicates that men and women not only choose partners differently, but show different levels of compatibility with their partners. This study, which used results from 324 couples, talks of EnneaDyads, and secure or insecure attachment styles.
The study determined that EnneaDyads have little impact on relationship success. However, greater satisfaction was determined in the following order.
- Woman is 2 and man is 1/Man is 2 and woman is 3
- Woman is 4 and man is 3/Man is 4 and woman is 5
- Woman is 2 and man is 4/Man is 2 and woman is 8
- Woman is 4 and man is 1/Man is 4 and woman is 2
- Woman is 2 and man is 8/Man is 2 and woman is 4
- Woman is 4 and man is 2/Man is 4 and woman is 1
- Woman and man are both 2
- Woman and man are both 4
- Woman is 2 and man is 3/Man is 2 and woman is 1
- Woman is 4 and man is 5/Man is 4 and woman is 3
- Either the man or woman is 2 and their partner is 5,6,7, or 9
- Either the man or woman is 4 and their partner is 6,7,8, or 9
Anxiety and Avoidance Attachment Styles
The study also determined that most relationship successes come from both partners showing secure attachment styles. However, earned secure attachments are achievable within relationships, though the level of stress seems to affect this.
The same success was also often demonstrated when only one partner showed a secure attachment style, and this is where the dyadic types had a major effect.
A significant difference in relationship success emerged when both partners showed an insecure attachment style. Both Twos and Fours exhibit high anxiety and low avoidance—an insecure attachment style.
Wings, Growth, and Stress
The wings of Twos and Fours are Ones, Threes, and Fives. Since both Ones and Threes have secure attachments, this could have a positive effect on Enneagram Type 2 compatibility with Type 4.
Also, during times of personal growth and stress (integration and disintegration), changes in personality are observed.
Twos integrate to Fours, who have insecure attachments. And Fours integrate to Ones, who have secure attachments. This will favorably affect the relationship.
Twos disintegrate to Eights, who have insecure attachments. And Fours disintegrate to Twos. So during stress, this relationship may become further strained.
What Each Type Brings to the Relationship
In any couple (not only Enneagram Type 2 compatibility with Type 4), each party will bring unique personal touches, whether positive or negative.
Enneagram Type 2: The Helper
Twos are notoriously kind and giving. They thrive on accurately assessing and catering to the needs of others. This is a true quid pro quo Enneagram Type. In selflessly giving, Twos hope to receive the gratitude they desire.
Enneagram Type 4: The Individualist
Fours are sometimes considered the true romantic of the Enneagram types. They crave finding the love connection of a partner who truly appreciates the unique qualities of Fours. Occasionally, they may envy others who they are certain have this inimitable coupling.
Enneagram Wing Contribution
The wing personalities of each type will also contribute to the relationship.
Enneagram Type 2w1, Type 2w3, Type 4w3, and Type 4w5
The One wing of a 2w1 Enneagram adds a strong sense of right and wrong. They envisage their counterparts valuing their moral and just conduct, and expect the same behavior from them.
One’s attachment style: secure.
A Three wing of Enneagram 2w3 and Enneagram 4w3 contributes determination and a desire for success, believing their impeccable image will afford them love and respect.
Three’s attachment style: secure.
The Five wing of a 4w5 Enneagram brings their hunger for knowledge into the mix. Being self-sufficient, they may detach in order to acquire and stockpile the subjects of their education and their energy.
Five’s attachment style: insecure.
Positives of This Pairing
When building a powerful union, Enneagram Type 2 compatibility with Type 4 shows reassuring possibilities if they use the Enneagram in their personal development.
Since they’re both emotional types, they may value mutual appreciation and respect for their respective qualities. Their mutually high level of agreeableness could mean that they’ll opt for peace rather than raising unnecessary conflicts.
Caring Twos may admire the creative projects of Fours, and this will result in Fours engaging with their Two partners. Creative-thinking Twos could participate with Fours in a community drive, meaning Twos will become more receptive to their Four partners.
The strong emotional bonds that both Fours and Twos relish, could draw them closer.
If this couple approaches issues within the relationship with judgment or raised voices, the resulting conflict could escalate until it’s out of control. Both Twos and Fours express their impulses without considering the consequences. This is one concern for Enneagram Type 2 compatibility with Type 4.
If Twos don’t allow Fours the space to be on their own, Fours may become aloof and temperamental, because they need this time to reflect on their deep emotions.
If Fours don’t accept the help of Twos or don’t show Twos the appreciation that Twos need, this may cause Twos to become needy or jealous.
Fours may criticize Twos if they attempt to manipulate Fours into accepting help. The charm of Twos might cause Fours to feel envious of their easily acquired popularity.
While Type 2 compatibility with Type 4 could present problems, the many tools at their disposal can create harmony in their relationship.
Twos might allow the emotional issues of Fours to play out before offering help. As the more social of the pair, Twos could help Fours to, on occasion, escape their shell and enjoy life.
Fours should encourage Twos to share their viewpoints and accept their help during hurdles in their life. Fours may teach Twos to appreciate themselves, instead of always helping others.
To discover your Enneagram type, complete the Enneagram Personality Test.