The value of Enneagram personality typing lies in its adaptability, and the Enneagram has long been used in many spheres of our lives. For instance, in companies—where they may assess the personality traits of prospective employees to ascertain a departmental fit. Also, in, mental healthcare providers may offer their clients the opportunity to better understand themselves.
Relationships may also benefit as individuals may use the Enneagram for personal development, and in this way, bring their best selves to a pairing.
This article outlines Enneagram Type 6 compatibility with Type 8 and establishes the positives and potential issues that a Six and Eight couple may encounter.
Type 6 Compatibility With Type 8
Aspects that may affect Enneagram Type 6 compatibility with Type 8 vary. They include the effect of each individual’s dominant wing, whether the individuals are in a state of growth or stress, attachment styles, and EnneaDyads.
A dissertation from Walden university discusses the results obtained from 324 couples—men and women may both choose and show different compatibility levels with varied personality types.
Compatibility Score
The score for Enneagram Type 6 compatibility with Type 8 may change, but the core types of Six and Eight show a 63% match.
EnneaDyads
Any relationship benefits reflective of EnneaDyads may occur from only Allied and Integrative categories. And then, probably only when both partners present with insecure attachment styles. However, it’s possible that this may have an effect in the following order:
- Ally
- Woman is 6 and man is 5/Man is 6 and woman is 7
- Woman is 8 and man is 7/Man is 8 and woman is 9
- Disintegrative
- Woman is 6 and man is 9/Man is 6 and woman is 3
- Woman is 8 and man is 2/Man is 8 and woman is 5
- Integrative
- Woman is 6 and man is 3/Man is 6 and woman is 9
- Woman is 8 and man is 5/Man is 8 and woman is 2
- Matching
- Woman and man are both 6
- Woman and man are both 8
- Shadow
- Woman is 6 and man is 7/Man is 6 and woman is 5
- Woman is 8 and man is 9/Man is 8 and woman is 7
- Non-related
- Either the man or woman is 6 and their partner is 1, 2, 4, or 8
- Either the man or woman is 8 and their partner is 1, 3, 4, or 6
Anxiety and Avoidance in Attachment Styles
The most beneficial relationships emanate from both partners showing secure, or “earned” secure attachment styles. “Earned” refers to relationships where a couple has shared a growth or stress experience. Mismatched (one secure and one insecure) attachment styles follow closely behind in terms of relationship success rates.
However, in Enneagram Type 6 compatibility with Type 8, insecure attachment styles apply to both Sixes and Eights. This is due to both Sixes and Eights showing high anxiety and high avoidance.
Wings, Growth, and Stress
The wings of Sixes and Eights—Five, Seven, and Nine—also have insecure attachment styles.
In Enneagram Type 6 compatibility with Type 8, it’s also important to take integration and disintegration states into account, as these result in the individuals moving along their integration lines and taking on aspects of other personalities.
What Each Type Brings to the Relationship
The personalities of Sixes and Eights, along with their unique blend of traits, will affect Enneagram Type 6 compatibility with Type 8.
Enneagram Type 6: The Loyalist
The powerful sense of loyalty in Sixes may stem from a fear that others might not accept, or might even betray, them—amplifying that trait in themselves to “show” others not to forgo this valuable characteristic.
Because of the intense self-doubts of Sixes, they may sometimes expect people to betray them, and therefore, never quite trust the motives of others. Still, they sincerely care for those in their inner circle.
Sixes might dislike disruptions in their lives, or things brought on suddenly, and are unlikely to seek new challenges. However, given time, they can adapt to change.
While Sixes remain loyal to people, they have little regard for organizations. While “phobic” Sixes may run from anxiety triggers, “counter-phobic” Sixes may challenge these, perhaps even with a level of antagonism.
Enneagram Type 8: The Challenger
Charming Eights lead with willful and decisive confidence. They’re usually successful, thrive on challenges, and are unlikely to back down from an argument.
Eights may lean toward general rebellion within themselves, and this may arise from an aversion to, or even fear of, ceding control of themselves to others. They could exuberantly go out of their way to experience the good things in life.
Since Eights can be of the opinion that only their viewpoint matters, they tend not to hold very much stake in the customs and beliefs of others.
Eights’ need to dominate comes with an intensely protective streak, and they sympathize with others in less fortunate situations. Also, this controlling side extends to all situations in their lives, and they usually make decisions and manage circumstances with ease.
Enneagram Wing Contribution
The dominant wings of the individual Six and Eight may alter the outcome of Enneagram Type 6 compatibility with Type 8.
Enneagram Type 6w5, Type 6w7, Type 8w7, and Type 8w9
Sixes with a dominant Five wing may feel less needy of the reassurance of others. They may feel more independent in themselves and a little more detached.
Five’s attachment style: insecure
Sixes with a Seven wing will probably feel more sure of themselves, positive about life, and adventurous.
Seven’s attachment style: insecure
When the dominant wing of Eights lies in Seven, they may be a little less challenging and confrontational. They will probably react more calmly and desire more of the fun side of life.
Seven’s attachment style: insecure
A dominant wing of Nine may bring the aggressive side of Eights down a notch. They may put more effort into finding peaceful solutions with others and perhaps be a little less demanding and controlling.
Nine’s attachment style: insecure
Positives of This Pairing
When in a relationship, Eights will value and respect the loyalty and intellect of Sixes, while Sixes may well find that they feel safe around decisive Eights.
While Eights may fear losing control to others, Sixes may be content to leave the power in the relationship in the capable hands of Eights. And since Eights are so inherently protective, they might nurture Sixes away from their lack of trust, doubts, fears, and uncertainties.
Both Sixes and Eights may find fulfillment in aiding and supporting those close to them. Eights might guide Sixes into expanding their charitable spirit to outsiders.
Potential Issues
When Sixes and Eights land on uneven ground, this could compromise Enneagram Type 6 compatibility with Type 8.
Eights are unlikely to adapt in order to fit in with the expectations of their Six partners. Also, sociable and charming Eights seek excitement in their life and can be self-indulgent. These characteristics might exacerbate the insecurities and self-doubt present in Sixes and this could lead to Sixes no longer trusting their Eight partners.
Eights crave independence and fear losing control. If they feel their Six partner is in any way inhibiting their freedom, they may lash out aggressively. This side of Eights that takes up every challenge may cause Sixes to feel anxious and insecure.
Conclusion
Sixes and Eights may not be as different as they first seem. The major variances are in how self-assured and decisive Eights can be, and how Sixes may question and analyze the world and themselves.
The established outcome of Enneagram Type 6 compatibility with Type 8 reveals how it’s possible to become codependent on your partner and still find happiness within a relationship.
To discover your Enneagram type, complete the Enneagram Personality Test.